A Vulnerable Moment

Konichwa!  This will probably be pretty short and incoherent as it is so late that it's early and I'm exhausted, but it's because I'm so tired that I'm capable of posting stuff like this, so I figured I'd take advantage of it.  Maybe it'll amuse you guys at least.  Just to preface this, I've found that the only time I find myself feeling romantic is when I'm extremely tired, so usually at ungodly hours of the night/morning.  Okay, that's out of the way.
So yeah, now is one of those very few times that I'm a little sad about having been single for as long as I have (I'm not disclosing how long :P).  It's one of those times that I just kind of sit and think about things, so I have unfortunately been ruminating on the past.  It's something I do frequently, but it's not enjoyable.  I've made a lot of stupid decisions, especially as far as the guys I've been in relationships with.  I know we all have, but it's natural to be embarrassed about it, I think.  Actually, the reason I'm so bitter about the whole love thing is probably out of anger with myself for not having realized what I was getting myself into in those relationships.  I actually did care about the guys at one time or another, but I kind of just shut my emotions off to protect myself after a while and then I guess it all just developed into resentment.  Yes, I know it's childish.  I'm working on it.
Anyway, I was reminded of a movie that came out in October: The Book of Life.  It was the one about the Mexican holiday the Day of the Dead, if you ever saw anything about it.  My brother and I went to see it when it came out and I really enjoyed it.  The art was so beautiful and, although I don't think the cultural stuff was entirely accurate (some of the stuff was Mexican, but a lot of it was Spanish.  As in Spain), I really enjoyed it.  One of the best parts was one of the main characters, Manolo, was a guitarist and he did a lot of singing.  In English, I thought the songs were really pretty, but I found out that the voice actor for Manolo also did Spanish versions and my ice cold heart melts over it.  I now fully understand why Spanish is a romance language.  Italian and French always sound pretty, but I was having a harder time seeing it with Spanish, but I get it now.
Here's a song Manolo used to serenade the main female character in both English and Spanish:
"I Love You too Much" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViwJ2b6cHKo
"Te Amo y Mas" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7Ng4vxAWQE
And here's a song I like even better.  Manolo is singing to a bull...  Don't question it...:
"The Apology Song" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTQ7TYi7Siw
"Si Puedes Perdonar" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIc7ZcRQ7Qs
Okay, so don't judge, but while I'm being honest I'll just go on and admit that if my little brother hadn't been with me in the theater I totally would have cried during the scene with "The Apology Song" but I would never have heard the end of it from him if I had.  Seriously, there's something about Spanish that makes something sweet even sweeter.  I am seriously considering learning the guitar chords to both of those songs and memorizing the lyrics because they're so beautiful.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm being sappy, but the English versions just don't have the emotional impact of the Spanish.  Another confession: I would actually love it if a guy I actually cared about serenaded me like Manolo does for Maria. I know it sounds out of character for me, but it's the truth.  I used to be a hopelessly sappy romantic until a few years ago, and I'm pretty sure I still am but I have it buried under all of the ice from my frozen heart.  I just need someone to come along and thaw me out so that I can feel human again.
Either way, I'm going to go to bed now so that I don't embarrass myself further and then I'll resist the urge to delete the post when I wake up!  Goodnight, reader-sans!  Catch you guys later!


- Turtle-chan