Saturday, February 14, 2015

Germany x Reader (Valentine's Day) and Anime Pick-Up Lines

Konichiwa!  Turtle-chan here on the most obnoxious holiday celebrated in the world (as far as I know)!  Yep, that's right.  Today is Valentine's Day.  Or Single's Awareness Day as some of the kids at school call it.  Or Forever Alone Day.  Anyway, I decided to do something amusing to "celebrate" and I've compiled a list of anime pick-up lines.  Some of these are actually in anime and others are pick-up lines that I've seen people use for anime characters (mainly Hetalia).  So, enjoy these and probably don't use them unless you're cosplaying or if you want to get slapped...  Also, I apologize for one of them because it's extremely inappropriate, but it was so funny I had to put it in there.  You'll know it when you see it...



"And I'm known for my bullets never missing their mark. Especially if it's the heart of a beautiful lady. BANG!" ~Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

“Become one with Russia, da?” ~Russia (Hetalia)

“If you vere a potato, you voult be a sveet potato.” ~Germany (Hetalia)

“I can’t lose in front of someone who loves me.” ~Shizuo Heiwajma (Durarara!!)

“Just lie back and think of me, luv.” ~England (Hetalia)    (I apologize from the bottom of my heart...)

“My, you’re gorgeous!  Do you have any French in you?  Would you like one?” ~ France (Hetalia)

“On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?” ~ America (Hetalia)

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?” ~ France (Hetalia)

“Do you know kung fu?  Because your body is kickin’!” ~ China (Hetalia)

“How would you like to be m’wife?” ~ Sweden (Hetalia)

“Be my sunflower, da?” ~Russia (Hetalia)
And an extra pick-up line that an acquaintance of mine used on me the other day as I joke (I think...): "You're like a baby: cute and easy to pin down."  Yes, I'm aware that it's really horrible.  He has a very strange and twisted sense of humor...
I have a Valentine's Day installment of the Germany x Reader story, too.  I even included some cultural stuff!  Yay!  To be perfectly honest with you guys, I'm not really sure what people are supposed to do on Valentine's Day.  I've only had one Valentine's Day in which I was dating someone and I was a freshman at that point, so obviously it had no real significance.  I basically just BSed it to the best of my abilities!  It's not that great, but I guess it sort of has a cuteness factor...  Maybe...  Oh well.  Enjoy!  And Happy Valentine's Day I guess!


- Turtle-chan




“Hey, hey, (y/n)~!” Italy shouts, coming up behind you as you’re walking to the laundry room.  You turn around to face him.


“What’s up, Italy?” you ask him, situating the basket of laundry onto your hip for better support.


“Do you know what tomorrow is?” he asks you, smiling.


You think for a few moments before shaking your head.  “I don’t know.  Is there something special going on tomorrow?” you ask him, feeling confused.


“It’s Valentine’s Day~!” he tells you, spinning in a circle with his arms raised and a broad grin on his face.


“Oh.  Hm, that is tomorrow, isn’t it…?  I guess I should bake something for you guys…” you muse to yourself.


“Vee~!  Aren’t you going to do something for Germany?” Italy asks you and you blush furiously.


“N-no, I don’t think so.  Not outside of what I’m doing for all of you guys, that is,” you respond, extremely embarrassed.  “D-do you think I should…?”  You peek up at Italy shyly.


Si!  I think so!” Italy tells you and you nod.


“Right.  Um, I’ve never actually done this kind of thing before, actually…  What should I do?” you ask him uncomfortably.  So embarrassing!


“Hmm…  Well, in my country sometimes the girls get up really, really early because there’s a legend that says that the first man they see on Valentine’s day will be the man they marry.  Oh!  And we give each other chocolates called Baci Perugia!” he says enthusiastically.


“Neither of those things really seems like something Germany would like…” you sigh.  You really don’t know what to do.


“Ah, I apologize, but I could not help but overhear your conversation,” Japan says, giving a slight bow.  “May I offer some advice?”


“By all means, please do,” you respond, curious as to what he has to say.


He nods.  “In my country, Valentine’s Day is a day in which girls make chocolates and give them to the person they love.  The men reciprocate on White Day in March with gifts for the women who gave them chocolates.  Perhaps you could try making chocolates for Germany-san, (Y/n)-san,” Japan tells you.


You think for a moment.  “That could work,” you tell him.  “But I don’t know how to make chocolates…”


“Do not worry, (y/n)-san.  I have a recipe book with instructions on making chocolates.  You may borrow it if you wish,” Japan assures you.


“Thank you, Japan.  I may take you up on your offer,” you tell him with a smile.  “But first, I need to deal with this laundry!”


What should I do?  I don’t know what Germany would like and I don’t know how he feels about me, so I don’t want to freak him out…  Argh!  Why does this have to be so complicated!  This is why I didn’t bother with romance back home!  Well, and of course there was the fact that all of the guys were jerks…  But that’s beside the point!  What do I do?


With your mind thus occupied, you decide to take a walk outside to clear your head.  The air is much warmer than it has been, but you know there’s a cold front coming in.  You climb your way up to the top of a hill and sit down, leaning your back against the trunk of the old oak tree and looking out at the setting sun.  The sky is painted in shades of pink and orange and red.  There’s something about it that seems different.  It seems more beautiful than other sunsets you’ve seen.  You let out a sigh and lean your head back against the tree, closing your eyes.  Soon, you fall into a doze.


The first thing you notice is that it’s dark outside.  The second is that there is something heavy and warm covering you.  You look down and realize that it’s Germany’s uniform jacket.


“Hm?” you groan, rubbing your eyes.  You put your hands on the ground to push yourself into a straighter sitting position, but your right hand lands on someone else’s hand.


“Oh, you voke up,” you hear Germany say from beside you.  The hand turns over and holds yours loosely.


“U-uh, y-yeah,” you stammer, not sure how to react.  “I didn’t realize I was tired, I guess.”


“It is fine,” he tells you.  “I vas out trainink anyvay.”


“Really?  You don’t usually train in your uniform,” you blurt out.  You’re still drowsy.


“U-um, vell,” Germany stammers and you realize you’ve embarrassed him.


So, you laugh.  “It’s really nice out tonight,” you say, looking up at the stars.


J-ja,” Germany says, sounding relieved that you changed the subject.  “Zee sky is fery klear.”


“It is.  All of the stars are shining so beautifully,” you smile.  “I love to just sit out here and look into the sky at night.  The starlight is so pretty, but it’s sad to know that many of those stars are already dead and their light is only just now reaching us.  I guess that’s the beauty of it, though.  Nothing lasts forever, so it’s best to enjoy things while you can.  Or maybe I’m just a romantic…”


“I like zee vay you sink, Mädchen.  You alvays see somesink beautiful no matter vhat ozers sink,” he tells you gruffly and you giggle.


“You’re so sweet, Germany,” you tell him, surprised at your own boldness.  It’s easier to talk to him like this in the dark.  You hear Germany say something quietly beside you, but you don’t catch the words.  “I’m sorry, what did you say?  I missed that.”


“If you vere a potato, you voult be a sveet potato,” he repeats.  “I am sorry.  It is somesink silly zat Italy mentionet before.  Do not pay any mint to it.”


You’re struggling to contain your laughter.  You’re pretty sure that was a pick-up line, but it was horribly cheesy.  You can’t help it and you start laughing, tears coming to your eyes.  You double over and rest your forehead against Germany’s arm.  “Come on,” you say, wiping your tears away as you recover yourself.  “Let’s head back inside.   I’m sure Italy is done cooking dinner by now.”


J-ja,” Germany responds, letting go of your hand and standing.  You hand his jacket back to him and start off down the hill toward the house.


~~~


Later that night, after everyone has gone to bed, you creep downstairs to the kitchen.  You quietly pull out a chair and get down all of the ingredients you need.  Then, you go and set the oven to about 182 degrees Celsius.  You quickly mix everything together in a bowl and distribute it into three cake pans.  You put the pans into the oven and set a timer before cleaning up the table.  While you wait for the cake to bake, you begin making the frosting.  The timer goes off and you pull the cakes out and set them on a cooling rack for several minutes.  You melt some bittersweet chocolate over a double boiler as the cakes cool.  Then, you frost the layers and pour the chocolate over them.  You stick the cake into the very back of the fridge where none of the guys should see it and clean up the kitchen before going back up to your room and falling asleep.


It seems as though your head has just hit the pillow when you hear Germany yelling that it’s time to get up and train.  You sit up and rub your eyes sleepily before getting up to put on clothes.  You walk down the stairs and yawn,” Good morning everyone.”


“Good morning, (y/n)-san,” Japan responds.


“Good morning~!  Happy Valentine’s Day!” Italy exclaims, hugging you around the neck.  You stagger a little at the impact of him running into you and pat him on the back a little awkwardly.


“Happy Valentine’s Day, Italy,” you respond.  Over Italy’s shoulder you see Germany standing in the doorway, watching you.  You smile at him shyly, feeling your stomach flutter a little.  He looks away.


“Kome on.  It is time to shtart trainink,” he says, walking outside.  You peel yourself away from Italy and follow him.


The workout is tough, as usual, but you don’t feel like you’re going to die by the end of it, so it’s a good day.  You go straight up to take a shower before grabbing some yogurt to eat for breakfast.  Your stomach feels all fluttery and you’re nervous already.  Part of you wants to believe that Germany returns your feelings, but the other part is convinced that he only thinks of you as someone he has to take care of, like Italy and Japan.


Germany is working, locked up in his office, so you decide to wait to give him his gift.  In the meantime, you give Italy and Japan theirs.  You made special dessert pasta for Italy and he loves it, as you expected.  You give Japan some chocolates, a little on the bitter side since you don’t see him eating sweet things very often.  He thanks you politely.  You end up deciding to wait until after dinner to give Germany his gift.


The day passes slowly, like molasses in the winter, but eventually dinner time is over and you’re incredibly nervous.  You go to wash the dishes, but Germany takes them from your hands.


“I vill help,” he tells you.  O-oh…


You stand beside him at the sink, drying the dishes as he hands them to you.  You’re standing so close that he brushes against you if he moves his arms.  You feel yourself blushing and you try your hardest to focus on the dishes.  There are butterflies in your stomach and your heart is fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird.  The sensation is unpleasant and nice at the same time.


Germany puts the dishes up for you, since you can’t reach into his cabinets.  “Um, (y/n)?” Germany says, his hand still in the cabinet.


“Hm?” you respond, pondering whether you should go ahead and give him the cake or not.


“Here,” he says, holding something out to you.  “Zese are for you.  H-happy Valentine’s Day.”  You look down and see a plate of heart-shaped ginger cookies decorated in white icing.  One of them reads,” Ich mag dich.”


Germany is blushing furiously, red all the way up to his ears.  You take the plate from him and set it down on the counter before picking up the cookie with words on it.  “What does this mean, Germany?” you ask him and you watch him grow more embarrassed.


“I like you,” he says quietly, looking away from you.  You blush deeply and quickly walk over to the refrigerator to pull out the cake after putting the cookie back on the plate.


You take it over to him and hold it out, blushing and looking away from him.  It is a little German chocolate cake and the chocolate drizzled on top of it reads,” Happy Valentine’s Day, Germany.”  He takes the tiny cake from you and sets it on the counter beside the cookies.


Ich mag dich auch, Germany,” you say quietly, looking down at the floor.


There is an awkward silence between the two of you for several moments before Germany steps forward and wraps his arms around you loosely.  It takes you by surprise, but you quickly wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest.  You hear his heart pounding like the bass line to a heavy metal song and you smile.  You feel him bury his face in your hair as he holds you closer.  It’s sweet and peaceful and everything feels right.  His arms are strong and comforting and you feel safe.  Every time you inhale, you’re surrounded by his scent.  You feel warm and fuzzy inside and you don’t even care that you’re blushing anymore.


After a while, you break apart and Germany makes some coffee.  You sit down together at the kitchen table and eat the sweets you made for each other.  You talk a little and look at each other a lot.  Little do you know that Italy and Japan have been watching everything and Japan has been taking pictures.  He even managed to get one of Germany smiling at you while you aren’t looking.  He is planning to hold those over Germany’s head in the future if need be.

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