https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B63Wk86Nfg "Such Mich, Find Mich" - Oomph!
That's 2p!Germany, by the way, in case you didn't know.
And without further ado, here's the story. Oh, and I don't know if I made it clear, but basically the main character is kind of in a transition stage between her 1p! and her 2p! self. I couldn't blatantly say it, but that's what's going on and why she's kind of losing her mind. Also, I put in a history reference, so see if you can catch it! Here's a hint: World War II, Nazi Germany (^_-). Enjoy!- Turtle-chan
Du bringst mich aus dem Takt-
Takt- Taktgefühl.
Fühlst du, wie ich mich heut ganz in dir verlier'?
Durch dich werd' ich heut neu neu neu gebor'n,
denn das, was ich brauch', find ich ich ich in dir.
Fühlst du, wie ich mich heut ganz in dir verlier'?
Durch dich werd' ich heut neu neu neu gebor'n,
denn das, was ich brauch', find ich ich ich in dir.
I was walking home after a world
meeting when I met him. It was late and
I was alone. It was a mistake I regret
to this day. Or maybe not. The jury might still be out. I think my sanity is slipping away from
me. I don’t know. What I do know is this: I met him that night
and my life changed.
“Hallo, Frau,” a deep voice called out from the shadows. I felt a chill run down my spine and I froze
like a rabbit under a hawk’s gaze.
“H-hello? Who’s there?” I replied. The voice sounded eerily like a friend of
mine’s, but there was something in the tone that made me know it wasn’t him.
I heard a slow shuffling as the
person walked out of the shadows to stand at the edge of the pool of light
being given off by the streetlamp. I
stood in the center of the pool. He was
still enveloped in shadows, but I saw enough of him to elicit a gasp. He was tall, like, over six feet. And totally ripped, something I find strange
now. He had on tight black pants and a
loose, grungy tank top with a khaki jacket draped over his broad
shoulders. Blonde hairs peeped out of a
black military cap which he wore low down over his face, but I could still see
his eyes. His eyes. God, I will never forget those eyes as long
as I live. They were this unnatural
reddish-pinkish-purpleish shade.
Immediately I felt a sense of evil from those eyes. He was covered in scars. I saw at least three on his arm and one large
one across his strong cheekbones. “Hmm…”
he said, obviously looking me up and down.
I covered myself self-consciously but tried to stand up straight and
appear confident.
“What? What do you want, sir? It’s late and I’d like to get home,” I said
in a loud, clear voice.
His evil-colored eyes flicked up
to my face for a moment before roaming my body again. “Do you really vant to know?” he asked with a
thick German accent. My blood ran
cold. In that instant, I knew exactly who he was and I
was terrified of him.
“If it involves my body, then
it’s out of the question, Lutz. If it’s
something else, I might help as long as it’s legal,” I responded, trying to
maintain my bravado.
He chuckled in the darkness and
I shivered. “I see my reputation precedes
me. Zat is goot,” he laughed. Then, he turned serious again. “But it looks like I vill be hafink to do zis
zee hart vay.”
He began to advance toward me,
circling me. I couldn’t help but think
of a large cat, like a tiger or a panther, while watching him. His eyes glinted in the dim light of the
streetlamp and I realized early on that I had very little chance of
escape. So I did something stupid. I walked toward him, holding his gaze. I could tell he was smirking in the darkness,
but I couldn’t see it. And that’s when I
felt my mind change. That’s when my
sanity started slipping away from me.
“Vell, vell. Let us go, ja?” he said, putting a muscular arm proprietarily around my
waist. I allowed him to lead me to his
lair. A lamb in the lion’s den.
Du bist alles, alles was mich fesselt.
Niemand kennt mich besser.
Alles, was ich will, bist du.
“Frau!” Lutz called from the next room
over. I dried my hands on the dishtowel
and walked in to see him lazing around as usual.
“What
do you want?” I sighed, exasperated.
“Bring
me a bier,” he ordered, not looking
up at me.
“Ja, ja,” I responded sarcastically as I
went back into the kitchen. I swear he
is the laziest human being… I opened the
bottle with a little difficulty and brought it back to him. “Here.”
He
took the bottle from my hand, not looking up from his… magazine. I rolled my eyes
and started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist. It hurt.
“What?”
I asked, turning back around. I was
struggling to contain my temper.
“Danke,” he said, releasing my hand. My German isn’t great, but I was pretty sure
he thanked me. I wasn’t sure how to
react, so I just went back to the kitchen.
Lutz
keeps his house freezing cold for some reason, and he had insisted that I wear
a stupid, skimpy miniskirt, so I was used to being cold most of the
time. Did this mean I enjoyed it? No.
So, I stood there, washing the dishes and shivering as usual. I heard a noise behind me which I assumed was
one of Lutz’s demon cats, so I didn’t pay it much mind. I had gotten used to being clawed at random,
so it didn’t frighten me.
It
wasn’t the cats. I felt a large pair of
arms wrap around my waist and I froze. I
wanted to melt into those arms and the warm body they were attached to, but I
didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“Is there a reason you’re touching me, Lutz?” I asked, affecting a bored
tone.
I
felt cool, chapped lips brush against my neck and I couldn’t hold back a
shiver. Was it out of fear or
pleasure? I can’t remember now. “Does zere haf to be, Maus?” he murmured into my ear as one of his hands crept
dangerously low.
I
abruptly pushed him away, mourning the loss of the heat but celebrating my
escape from a dangerous situation. “Yes,
there does. I’m busy,” I told him
curtly.
“Alright. I vill vait, zen. I am goot at zat vhen I haf to be,” he
chuckled darkly as he went back into the living room. I shivered once again, but not from the cold.
Und darum:
Such mich - find mich, treib mich weiter.
Halt mich - zwing mich, immer
weiter.
Lass mich - lass mich, lass mich
nie mehr los.
“Ti ammazzo, Zuia!” Luciano screamed,
coming at me with his knives. I was
taken a little by surprise, but I had just enough time to dodge him. His eyes, so like Lutz’s, were crazed and
full of bloodlust.
I
reached around behind me until my hands closed on a cold, metal object. It was a pipe I was given by my old friend
Ivan before I got sucked into all this madness.
I call it my pipe of pain.
“Luciano, you may be fast, but you’re not immortal. Back the hell off,” I told him calmly.
“No! You got rid of my pasta!” he bellowed,
readying for another go at me. I slipped
into a more comfortable position and prepared myself to block.
As
expected, he barreled straight at me, too angry to use that tactical mind of
his. This worked to my advantage and I
managed to block the knives and push him back.
“I warned you, Luciano. Back off. Nobody threw your pasta away,” I informed
him. He just glared at me and, without
warning, threw a knife at my head. I
dodged, but I felt heat sear through my cheek just below my left eye and I knew
I didn’t get off completely free.
Angry,
I raised my pipe and brought it down on his hands, not hard enough to break
them, but enough to, um, encourage him to drop the knives. Around that time, as he was screaming, two
large, pale arms pinned his arms to his sides and lifted him off the
ground. Luciano shouted profanities in
Italian at both of us while Lutz held onto him, his face impassive. I knew Lutz had been through worse tantrums
since he’d known Luciano. His scars are
a monument to it. I couldn’t do anything
but watch as Luciano finally, finally
tired himself out. He grew limp and Lutz
carried him off to his room and locked the door. I stood numbly in the kitchen for a moment
before gathering up all of the knives and hiding them away.
I
heard footsteps behind me and recognized them as Lutz’s heavy steps, but I
focused on my task. I didn’t want to
have to thank him. He did not allow me
to ignore him, however, as he grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around. His strangely colored eyes narrowed as he
stared down at my face. He extended a
large, calloused finger and touched it to my cheek before putting the finger to
his lips. I realized I was bleeding and
became slightly uncomfortable. “Süß…” he muttered as he leaned in toward
me.
I
froze up again, not sure what he was going to do when I felt his lips against
my cheek. Then, I felt something warm
and wet moving rhythmically across the cut and I realized he was licking my
wound. It was both creepy and romantic
and I’m not sure I remember which side was winning over at that point. Probably the latter. His big, warm hands slid down to my wrists as
he cleaned my wound. I was acutely aware
of every touch and part of me, probably a bigger part than I’d like to admit,
wanted more.
When
he was done, he looked down into my eyes as he licked his lips, slowly and
carefully. It was torture. He must have noticed something in my manner
because he smirked knowingly. “Not
today, Maus,” he told me quietly and
seductively. “You haf to vant it
more. You haf to know how I feel.” And with that, he let me go and walked away,
leaving me shell shocked and trying to decode my own increasingly scattered mind.
Und darum:
Jag mich - fang mich, treib mich weiter.
Halt mich - quäl mich, immer
weiter.
Lass mich - lass mich, lass mich
nie mehr los.
Oh,
God. I hear him. He’s somewhere near here. I’d know those heavy footsteps anywhere. I can’t let him find me; I can’t stop
running. But God how it burns! My muscles aren’t used to this sort of thing
and my lungs are fit to burst. I’m
getting lightheaded and my vision is starting to swim. How much longer can I make it? I don’t want to know. Oh, I don’t want to know! Damn you, Kuro. Damn you, Luciano. And most of all, damn you to Hell and back
again, Lutz. Why did you have to come
into my life? And why don’t I want you
out of it as much as I should?
Zieh die Schuhe aus, ich will dich tanzen seh'n.
Wiedermal beginnst du, dich im
Kreis zu dreh'n.
Nackte Füße müssen über Scherben
geh'n,
wenn sie erstmal bluten, woll'n
sie nie wieder steh'n.
I
was sitting in my room, which was really more like a closet, but let’s not
quibble over little things. I was in my
room, sitting on my bed and reading by the dim light of the bedside lamp when
my door opened. It was the middle of the
night and I was in a house full of men notorious for taking what they want
without asking for permission first, so my first reaction was to grab my pipe of
pain. Thank you, Ivan!
“Maus,” Lutz whispered. I don’t know if it was a question or a
statement. It could have been either.
“Ja?” I responded. I had learned that he loved it when I spoke to him in his native
tongue, even with what little I knew.
“Kome
vis me,” he said, stepping out of the doorway to let me through. I sighed and climbed off of the bed and left
the relative safety of my room.
It
wasn’t unusual for one of the boys to call me out in the middle of the night to
do chores for them, but something seemed different about this time. Lutz led me outside, into the cold winter
night. There was something different
about him. It’s like his features were
slipping and reshaping. His color was
off or something. I assumed he was
drunk, but I’m not so sure now.
“What’s
wrong, Lutz?” I asked him, and I may have actually felt concern.
He
said nothing but pointed at the ground which sparkled in the moonlight. Broken glass was everywhere. I looked back up at him and saw that he was
staring at me, which was normal, but again, something felt different. It may have just been me, or maybe it was the
night, but I think I slipped a little further into the madness than usual
because I did something strange. I
started dancing, using that shimmering, deadly patch of lawn as my dance floor.
I
had no music but the music in my head and the sounds of night animals on the
wind, but it was enough. My feet were
lighter and nimbler than I think they’ve ever been. It was almost like I floated across the
ground. I felt my long hair swaying
around with me and the cold wind penetrated the thin white material of my nightgown
like tissue paper, but I didn’t notice at the time. I was confident that I wouldn’t get hurt, and
that if I did, I would never have had a chance at surviving anyway. The dancing felt like I was deciding my fate,
but I couldn’t have cared less. Throughout
it all, Lutz just watched silently and I felt his eyes on my body with every
move I made. When I was done, though, he
looked me in the eyes for the first time and I held his oddly serious
gaze. Somehow, I tasted victory.
Und darum:
Such mich - find mich, treib mich weiter.
Halt mich - zwing mich, immer
weiter.
Lass mich - lass mich, lass mich
nie mehr los.
It
was late at night. Or maybe just really
early in the morning. I couldn’t
sleep. From just outside my room I heard
snoring. I assumed it was probably Lutz
who had fallen asleep in the living room as soon as dinner was finished. Deciding to risk it, I slipped out the door
of my room and padded my way into the living room. Lutz was passed out on the couch as usual, so
I walked through to the kitchen and then to the front door. Today was the day, I was going to
escape. But… I didn’t really want to.
A
sudden wave of pain hit me, ripping through my skull. I let out a whimper and collapsed to the
floor, clutching my head. My breath came
in ragged gasps and I felt something hot and wet trickling down my cheeks. Tears.
My thoughts came in broken and terrifying images. There was blood, so much blood. And my friend’s faces morphing into something
much darker and unrecognizable. And it
was so, so cold. I thought I was going
to die. My breath must have been making
clouds in the air. I let out a scream.
“Hush! Vhat do you sink you are doink?” Lutz said in
a harsh whisper, clapping a large, warm hand over my mouth.
I
brought both of my hands up to touch his and I looked up at him through teary
eyes. I was trembling. He looked surprised and confused and
angry. He moved his hand from my mouth
and I let go of it reluctantly.
“L-Lutz,” I said with relief, my voice shaking. “Lutz.”
The pain was gone.
“Vhat? Vhat is it, Frau?” he snapped impatiently.
I
shook my head, not being able to find the words to express my joy at seeing
him, and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his broad, strong
chest. His warmth surrounded me and I
couldn’t get enough. After a few
moments, I felt Lutz’s arms tentatively wrap around my waist.
“My
little Maus,” Lutz whispered into my
hair. I snuggled in closer to him, my
breathing finally starting to go back to normal. I
heard him chuckle a little and he picked me up, carrying me like a princess. “Kome on, zen.”
He
carried me back to my room and laid me on my bed. He moved to leave, but I grabbed his
wrist. “No! Don’t leave me!” I cried.
Lutz
looked down at me, his violet eyes wide with surprise, but soon his surprise
melted into a smirk. “Alright, Maus.
I vill stay vis you,” he said, laying down on the bed beside me.
I
laid my head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart
beating. He put an arm around me and I
breathed in his scent. Before long, I
slipped into a peaceful sleep.
Und darum:
Jag mich - fang mich, treib mich weiter.
Halt mich - quäl mich, immer
weiter.
Lass mich - lass mich, lass mich
nie mehr los.
I’m
not going to make it. He’s too close
now. Geez. Well, this is it. I’m going to make a stand. I stop running and suck as much oxygen as I
can into my lungs. I wearily lift my
pipe of pain and shift into a defensive stance, putting my weight on the balls
of my feet so I can move quickly.
And
there he is, walking slowly out of the cover of the shadows and into my little
patch of moonlight. He’s circling me and
I’m struck once again by how catlike he is.
I follow his movement, keeping my eyes locked on his. I will not let my feelings get in the
way. Or at least, that’s what I tell
myself. In reality, I don’t know if I
can.
“Hallo, Maus,” Lutz says quietly.
“Hello,
Lutz,” I respond warily.
He
circles once again before suddenly making a lunge at me. I am prepared and I block his fist with my
pipe, having to tense all of my muscles to absorb the shock. He’s even stronger than I had
anticipated. This is bad.
Lutz
nods approvingly and circles me again.
He’s wasting his time looking for weaknesses. He should know what they are already. They’re easy enough to exploit. This time, I go in for the attack. He blocks it and grabs onto the end of my
pipe. Our fight is like a dance and
we’re in perfect synch. No one is truly
winning or losing. It’s a stalemate.
Or
maybe not. Lutz distracts me with a wild
punch, which I block with my arm, but then he sweeps my feet out from under me
and I fall onto my back, using my pipe to hold him off. “Not bat, Maus,”
he chuckles, pressing the pipe lower against my chest.
“Of. Course,” I pant, trying and failing to push
the pipe back up. He’s going to turn my
own weapon against me.
“I
haf a question for you before I kill you,” he tells me, smirking as usual, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
“Shoot,”
I gasp, trying as usual to seem calm and confident. It’s not as effective when you can’t breathe.
“Vhy
dit you anger Luciano? Ve voultn’t be in
zis situation if you hat just let him take vhat he vantet. Vhy dit you do it?” he asks and I might be
hallucinating, but I think I see something that looks like pain in his eyes.
“Because. I don’t.
Love. Him,” I manage to force
out. Breathing is getting harder and
harder and I’m starting to see black spots in my vision.
And
then the pressure of the pipe lessens.
“Vhat?” Lutz asks incredulously.
I
blink a few times and take a good breath before looking up into Lutz’s strange,
violet eyes. “I don’t love Luciano. He can’t touch me,” I repeat calmly.
I
watch as Lutz thinks this over.
“So… Who kan, zen?” he asks me
slowly, removing the pipe and laying it on the ground beside me but not letting me up from the ground.
I
don’t answer him, but I smile up at him and brush my fingers against the scar
on his cheek. He watches me intently as
I bring my hand back down. I notice his
gaze slipping lower on my face and I can’t help but find myself staring at his
chapped lips. I look back up into his
eyes for just a moment and I see him start to lean down toward me. I let my eyes slip closed just before his
lips meet mine.
It’s
a rough kiss, but in a good way. It’s
like we have to finish fighting each other before we can feel normal
again. I pull him closer to me, wrapping
my arms around his neck. One of his
thumbs strokes my cheek, the one Luciano cut, and it feels like heaven. I have probably slipped fully into the
madness by now, but I no longer care.
When
we finally break away from the kiss, I look deep into his crazy, gorgeous
violet eyes and whisper,” Ich liebe dich,
Lutz.”
He
smirks down at me. “Ich liebe dich auch, mein Maus.”
Such mich - find mich -
Such mich - find mich -
Such mich - find mich -
lass mich nie mehr los
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